Going ‘off plan’ in Coaching
Session 4. Things were going to plan. Until they weren’t.
My client’s coaching goal from the outset was to become more confident and present in herself. Over our first few sessions, we were exploring that through some deeply personal lenses, family dynamics, beliefs, inner critics. It was emotional work, and progress was building gently.
But when session 4 began, something shifted.
She came in with a new dilemma: she was considering leaving her current role because a new opportunity had come up. It was weighing heavily on her, and she wanted to talk it through.
Suddenly, our plan for the session — to review her previous actions and continue working on her self-confidence journey — took a back seat. And I’ll be honest: it threw me.
I wasn’t sure how to navigate it. Was this a derailment of our work? Or was it part of the same journey, just showing up differently?
I felt unsteady.
In that moment, a few things swirled through my mind:
- Should I steer us back to her original goal?
- Is this new topic a distraction, or part of the same growth?
- How do I make sure she still gets value from this session?
- Are we now working on career coaching instead of confidence?
I felt pressure around time. Should we also still try to review her previous actions? Would we run out of space to make this new conversation meaningful?
What I did next.
I remembered the CIGAR model and tried to use it as a loose structure to hold us both. That helped me feel a little steadier — we were still coaching, still exploring a goal, even if it had emerged differently.
I leaned into curiosity.
I kept asking:
- What changed?
- What makes this decision feel urgent now?
- What’s drawing you to the new opportunity?
- What’s keeping you where you are?
That opened up a rich conversation about values — what she truly wants from her work environment, what she’s willing to compromise on, and where she’s out of alignment.
My inner coach thoughts:
I definitely felt flustered as the session went on, I wondered without a ‘structure’ am I moving her towards a decision/action, am I creating any impact here, is she finding this valuable? As my internal dialogue kept moving down this path I could hear myself starting to slip towards phrases like ‘I think…’
It was this moment where I had to take a step back, ground myself and think – where do we go now. In times like this I like to reflect back what she had said so far, this gives me a moment to take a breath and allows her to hear a summary of her thoughts so far.
After speaking with Kirsty following this session, I realised there were moments where I could have rather than just reflected back what she said, I could ask for permission to tell her what I thought I was hearing behind the words. For example, I could hear resentment towards her current role, I could hear disappointment in what she had been promised. This was a good time to bring in a closed question ‘is it ok to ask, but do I hear a little resentment here?’
The reflection.
Looking back, I think it was the right call to follow her lead. Yes, we were “off plan,” but we were exactly where she needed to be in that moment. Her confidence (our original goal) was showing up in this decision: how she weighs her options, how she trusts herself, how she takes space to think clearly.
On further reflection, I felt pressured in the moment to bring the conversation back to the original plan during the session – so that we didn’t ‘fall behind’. But at the time this felt rushed, and her head definitely wasn’t in it.
I can see that now. In hindsight, I should have asked if she wanted time in the session to look at the original plan, or did that take a backseat until the following session and focus on what she needed then and there?
What I’m learning.
- The client’s journey isn’t linear, and neither are their sessions.
- It’s okay to feel thrown — but structure (like models or values) can help me re-anchor.
- Goals evolve, and part of my job is holding space for that, not resisting it.
- Trusting the client also means trusting the process.
- Be open with the client, if she brings something new that takes you off the plan then simply ask
- Always bring them back to their original goal and their vision from session 1 – how does this change fit in with that vision that they set for themselves?
Thoughts to consider:
- Have you had a session go “off plan”? What helped you decide whether to follow it or redirect?
- How do you balance flexibility with structure when new topics emerge?
- How would your inner coach react to a curveball during a coaching session?
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